You Might Be a Court Reporter If...

 By E. Duane Smith, RPR, CRR, CMRS

• you proofread for pleasure.

   

• you drive down the freeway reading billboards, trying to figure out how to write them.

   

• your biggest thrill in memory is the 0&10 you had in 1975.

   

• you've spent the best years of your life listening to other peoples' problems.

   

• you've spent more money on CAT software than you did on your first home.

   

• the most important acronyms in your life are "CEU" and "WPM."

   

• every appliance in your home was purchased at a silent auction.

   

• you have more initials after your name than the military has acronyms.

   

• the number of pages in your backlog is greater than your age to the third power.

   

• your social life consists of conversing with the receptionist when you drop off exhibits at the office.

   

• your fingers look like pretzels at age 40.

   

• you can only find your way home if it's dark.

   

• the notes stored in your basement weigh more than the state capitol building.

   

• you think people talk faster every year, when the truth is you're writing slower.

   

• half the people you've met in your entire life have asked, "So, how's that thing work anyway?"

   

• your CAT doesn't poop in a box, but you do spend a lot of time feeding it.

   

• you've spent your entire career striving to be a professional and are still treated like you're a potted plant.

   

• you thought you'd spend your life working in a robe and fuzzy slippers only to find out you've never had time to even buy a robe and fuzzy slippers.

   

• the conflicts on your screen are more important to you than the ones in your life.

   

• just hearing the word "contracting" gives you hives.

   

• being called anal retentive is an incredible compliment.

   

• you've slept with a computer on more than one occasion.

   

• your dog knows more about your family than you do.

   

• your neighbors call the police to report a strange person in the neighborhood when you pull into the driveway.

   

• you know you are required to make quarterly payments to the IRS but you just don't quite get it done.

   

• your wildest fantasy includes a multiple copy job in an exotic location.

   

• you find yourself dressed up in a law office on casual day.

   

• you don't answer the phone when you see the office manger's name on the caller ID.

   

• you fill out a deposit slip with "200 pages" instead of "200 dollars."

   

• your marriage proposal sounds something like this: "I love you comma honey. Will you marry me interrog?"

   

• you're a proud and productive person who cares deeply about your family and your profession.

   

• you're willing to do whatever it takes to preserve and protect the record.

   

• you're willing to invest in knowledge and technology for the good of the whole.

   

• you're dedicated to ensuring that all those who follow in your footsteps will enjoy the same wonderful opportunity for a successful and satisfying career as you have enjoyed!

About the Author: E. Duane Smith, RPR, CRR, CMRS is a past President of NCRA.