You Might Be a Court Reporter If...
By E. Duane Smith, RPR, CRR, CMRS
- you proofread for pleasure.
- you drive down the freeway reading billboards, trying to figure out how to write them.
- your biggest thrill in memory is the 0&10 you had in 1975.
- you've spent the best years of your life listening to other peoples' problems.
- you've spent more money on CAT software than you did on your first home.
- the most important acronyms in your life are "CEU" and "WPM."
- every appliance in your home was purchased at a silent auction.
- you have more initials after your name than the military has acronyms.
- the number of pages in your backlog is greater than your age to the third power.
- your social life consists of conversing with the receptionist when you drop off exhibits at the office.
- your fingers look like pretzels at age 40.
- you can only find your way home if it's dark.
- the notes stored in your basement weigh more than the state capitol building.
- you think people talk faster every year, when the truth is you're writing slower.
- half the people you've met in your entire life have asked, "So, how's that thing work anyway?"
- your CAT doesn't poop in a box, but you do spend a lot of time feeding it.
- you've spent your entire career striving to be a professional and are still treated like you're a potted plant.
- you thought you'd spend your life working in a robe and fuzzy slippers only to find out you've never had time to even buy a robe and fuzzy slippers.
- the conflicts on your screen are more important to you than the ones in your life.
- just hearing the word "contracting" gives you hives.
- being called anal retentive is an incredible compliment.
- you've slept with a computer on more than one occasion.
- your dog knows more about your family than you do.
- your neighbors call the police to report a strange person in the neighborhood when you pull into the driveway.
- you know you are required to make quarterly payments to the IRS but you just don't quite get it done.
- your wildest fantasy includes a multiple copy job in an exotic location.
- you find yourself dressed up in a law office on casual day.
- you don't answer the phone when you see the office manger's name on the caller ID.
- you fill out a deposit slip with "200 pages" instead of "200 dollars."
- your marriage proposal sounds something like this: "I love you comma honey. Will you marry me interrog?"
- you're a proud and productive person who cares deeply about your family and your profession.
- you're willing to do whatever it takes to preserve and protect the record.
- you're willing to invest in knowledge and technology for the good of the whole.
- you're dedicated to ensuring that all those who follow in your footsteps will enjoy the same wonderful opportunity for a successful and satisfying career as you have enjoyed!
About the Author: E. Duane Smith, RPR, CRR, CMRS is a past President of NCRA.